Because scabies is highly contagious, your child must stay at home until treatment is completed. The entire family should be treated, even though only one person seems to be infected. Prior to treatment, give your child a bath or shower and dry the skin gently. Your doctor will prescribe a lotion or cream (e.g. benzoyl benzoate) which is to be applied to the skin, from the neck down. Make sure that you cover the skin thoroughly, paying special attention to the genital area, and under fingernails. Do not wash lotion or cream off for 24 hours! Clothing, linen, towels and soft toys should be washed in order to destroy mites and eggs. Vacuum all carpets and mattresses. If you cannot wash some items, spray them with insecticide and leave them tightly closed in a plastic bag for 2-3 days.

After 24 hours, wash your child thoroughly. Treatment should now be complete. Sometimes the itch takes up to a week to disappear. This is usually due to an allergic response, and does not mean that your child still has scabies. Do not reapply the lotion or cream unless advised to do so by your doctor.

When to see your doctor

• if itching persists for more than a week, or initially stops and then returns;

• if bleeding, scabs or pus-filled sores appear in the same area as the itching.

Complications

The itchy areas may become infected after excessive scratching.

Prevention

Initial infection with scabies cannot be prevented. To prevent the spread of scabies, wash linen, towels, clothes and soft toys. Treat all family members. Do not send your child to kindergarten or school until treatment has been successfully completed.

Even if only one child has scabies, treat all family members at the same time to avoid spreading the infection.

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It may take several weeks before breastfeeding becomes fully established. Breastfeeding your baby as soon as possible after birth is helpful, but sometimes this is not practicable when either mother or baby are unwell. Expressing breastmilk every few hours will ensure that your supply is maintained until you are able to start regular breastfeeding. Most babies will settle themselves into a routine of breastfeeding, and it helps not to be too rigid with the timing of feeds. Rather, try to flow with your baby’s rhythm; most babies will settle eventually to a pattern of 3-4-hourly feeds. Some do not, and appear to take a long time to establish a predictable pattern of sleeping and feeding. Night feeds in particular help to boost your milk supply, so do not be in a hurry to cut these out before your baby is at least 3 months old. If possible, avoid giving your baby formula feeds during the first few weeks of breastfeeding. Offering a complementary feed may in fact only serve to decrease your milk supply. If you think that your baby is still hungry after feeds, speak to your maternal and child health or community nurse.

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The posture of the future allows for more practice of your “telepathic sex,” a sending of messages beyond the see/touch world. Scientists are now turning their attention to the subjective, the possibility of communication beyond words and sound waves. All of us know that we communicate on many levels, that we sense each other. We know that this “sense of one another” can be particularly profound between lovers in long-lasting relationships. In this new posture, try to develop your sexual psychic powers. Be open to feelings coming from your partner and send them back. It will take time, but you will see that telepathic sexual arousal is as “send-able” and “receivable” as any other emotion. You will begin to feel a telepathic turn-on. Psychasm is the sensation not only of your own conscious and emotional experiences, but of those of your partner as well.

This is what super marital sex is all about. The posture of the future can help you both learn to develop your own form of sending and receiving free of the sexual prescriptions. The posture of the future is really your posture, so don’t worry about “getting it right.” If it feels right to both of you, it’s right.

“The first time we rushed it,” said the wife. “We stacked the pillows, got naked, and tried it. It was-terrible. Then we took our time. We moved the wedges around, changed distance and angles several times until we found the right face-to-face sort of semisitting postures. The lighting helped, because we had never really seen each other like that, actually looking right at each other and our genitals. The telepathy worked. He got a drifty look on his face that drove me crazy. I was really turned on. His F spot—I mean, area—was right there on my area. We almost quivered together. It was like in the movie Cocoon when that man and woman are in the pool together and he says, ‘If this is foreplay, I’m a dead man.’ It was very much like that scene. We felt each other on every level.”

Her husband added, “Never, never in a million years would I have thought this posture was anything special. I can tell you now that it just cannot be described. We insert the penis sometimes, I ejaculate sometimes, we have orgasms, psychasms, breastasms, 1 tell you, we just merge. With the music and the light, it is just another world for us. If you would have told me that erection or insertion was not necessary weeks ago, I would have thought you were crazy. I see now that it’s not really the posture, it’s the whole system.”

Try the posture of the future. You cannot do it wrong, because the two of you are doing it, sharing it, changing it, learning it together. The posture of the future, the marriage of the future, will evolve from a new emphasis on intimacy and the integration of sexuality into the whole of the marital system.

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Sexual intercourse between men and women is constructive only within marriage. Courtship should include talking, kissing, cuddling, holding, sex play, mutual masturbation, and intense physical interaction, but not sexual intercourse. We should tell them so. Young adults would have to learn to energize the courtship sequence with feelings, thoughts, and touch rather than coitus. They would then select better partners for better sex that allows a total sexual system commitment.

It is pure myth to assume that practice with many different partners makes for good sex with a given partner. Sex is not like tennis. Practice does not make perfect in sex, it only leads to more practice. If we see sexual intercourse as the ultimate form of intimacy, it belongs in the ultimate committed relationship. If we see intercourse as some type of casual recreational activity, it belongs only in casual relationships and has little to do with bonding. I believe, and the thousand couples believed, that intercourse means much more than recreation, that it belongs in committed relationships. Open, more vulnerable courtship free of the “it” factor, the intercourse factor, will help us to find better partners for lasting super marriage and change courtship from a training ground for divorce to an opportunity for the learning of intimacy.

It is interesting to note that Masters and Johnson and other sex therapists almost always tell their couples in treatment to stop having intercourse, to become re-acquainted on deeper and broader personal levels before moving on to the intimacy of sexual intercourse. I suggest that we use this recommendation for our courtship patterns as well. A little preventive sex therapy couldn’t hurt.

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A baby may spend 20 hours of each day sleeping. This gradually lessens and most adults make do with about six to eight hours per day.

Insomnia is a common problem, for many this is a result of their emotional distress.

Depression usually leads to sleep disturbance and this is commonly frequent waking during the night or early morning awakening.

Most babies in the first few weeks of life cry before dropping off to sleep and some parents do not allow them to “wind down” but become anxious and pick them up. This may lead to future sleep disorder.

About one in every 40 people walks in his or her sleep.

Sleepwalking and night terrors tend to run in families and are prominent in males.

Sleep terrors tend to occur more in children and they are different to nightmares.

The child will suddenly sit or jump up, crying out, appear distressed and can’t be consoled.

This lasts several minutes and then the child drops back to sleep and has no memory of the episode.

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Diets which stress no carbohydrates or high protein or fat can be dangerous unless followed under strict medical and dietetic control.

Drugs are often used to help people lose weight. They are of little use, except in special cases. Most of the appetite suppressant drugs are derived from amphetamine. They may reduce the appetite at the start, but tend to lose this effect after a month or so.

Unfortunately, because of their stimulant effect, some people become addicted to them.

There are some anorexiants or appetite suppressing drugs which appear to be free of these side effects, but in my experience are of little value.

Diuretics are often used, but these rid the body of water, not fat. After taking them you can see that your weight has dropped a kilo or two. But it will all come back again once your body re-establishes its water balance.

Thyroid tablets are sometimes used. All that happens is that normal production of this hormone by the thyroid gland is shut down. If bigger doses are given this can put a strain on the heart.

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CDT, or combined tetanus and diphtheria vaccine, is given from 18 months instead of triple antigen.

There are increasing numbers of adults who show no immunity to diphtheria. Possibly they could contract the disease or act as carriers to their children or grandchildren.

But there is an adult form of CDT vaccine and the possibility of using it when updating tetanus immunisation should be considered by the doctor treating adults.

Poliomyelitis, or infantile paralysis, once so common, is a rarity. But it is still a common disease in countries to our immediate north.

Once we become complacent and believe immunisation is no longer necessary for our children, we may have to suffer the heartbreak of having them develop what should be a preventable illness and suffer death or a serious complication.

There are side effects from the vaccines, as there are side effects with many forms of medical treatment. But these are rare and should not deter parents from subjecting their children to immunisation.

The risks of getting the disease far outweigh the minor risk of suffering a reaction.

Has your child been immunised? If so, is the schedule up to date?

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X-rays are one means of looking indirectly at internal organs. Just what are X-rays? They are a form of electromagnetic radiation. Other electromagnetic rays include ordinary light, infra red, ultraviolet, radio and TV waves. These are all forms of energy which can travel through space in straight lines but differ in wavelength and frequency.

Light is the one that is most familiar to us, simply because light is the only one that the human eye can detect. To help you understand how an X-ray picture is produced, we can use an example involving a form of electromagnetic radiation that we all understand—light. Imagine a light shining through a stained glass window onto a white wall. On that wall you can see a ‘picture’ of the window. The picture is formed because light gets through some parts of the window more easily than others. No light gets through the frame or the lead separating the pieces of coloured glass. Some light gets through the glass but the amount depends on the strength of the light and the thickness and colour of the glass. The detail we get in our indirect ‘picture’ depends on these factors. Exactly the same sort of process is involved in getting an X-ray picture. The X-ray machine sends out X-rays like a source of light. The X-rays get through some parts of our body more easily than others. Because we can’t see X-rays with our eyes, instead of a white wall on the other side we need an X-ray plate. The X-rays react with the special coating on the X-ray plate to form a ‘picture’ which we can see. X-rays travel most easily through air and least easily through very solid things like metal and bone. Just as we can use a stronger light to get more detail, so we can adjust the machine to send out ‘stronger’ X-rays if we need more detail.

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Women in parts of India who are kept in purdah welcome the arrival of the menopause as an era of new freedom; now they can cast off their veils, mix with men and travel freely. In China, the sixtieth birthday is a momentous event, celebrating the status and wisdom of the old person. After the menopause, Bantu women may take part in activities previously forbidden to them, and women in Bali can join in ceremonies from which they were barred during their childbearing years. From India to Africa, from China to South America, the end of menstruation brings new freedom to women. Middle-aged and elderly women are an active part of the extended family, they help on the land, they feel useful, needed and valued. Ageing is a gain in wisdom, not just the loss of youth; in the same way that many cultures celebrate the start of a girl’s menstruation, so its ending is a positive event, too. And in countries where older people have enhanced privilege and status, menopausal symptoms are almost unknown.

How different things are in our ‘advanced’ societies of the West. Ours is a society that gives status and emphasis to physical prowess, to attractiveness and to youth. Men and women (but especially men) lose status when they are no longer defined by the job they do. Children grow up and move away, and the busy mother/chauffeur/cook/nanny/ supporter of the PTA/and helper at Brownies suddenly finds her role has disappeared. In these societies, where getting older is seen as a definite minus, 80 per cent of women suffer from menopausal symptoms.

You probably remember the days when ‘black’ was a term of abuse towards people of African and Caribbean origin. Most black people living in white cultures at that time felt themselves to be inferior to whites, accepting their status as second-class citizens. Then black people themselves coined the phrase ‘Black is Beautiful’, and suddenly their image changed. They felt proud of their black heritage and culture, and of the colour of their skin.

Why shouldn’t older people, too, change how they see themselves, and how society sees them? The Gray Panther movement in the United States is a powerful lobby for the rights of retired people, and they certainly don’t see themselves as has-beens.

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Will I age prematurely if my ovaries are removed?

The answer to this depends on whether you go on hormone therapy, your body size, whether you had your ovaries removed before or after your menopause, and your genetic make-up. Before menopause the ovaries are the body’s main source of hormones such as oestrogen, which has wide-ranging influences on a woman’s body. Some of the areas it affects are:

• the thickness and tone of the vaginal lining and the vagina’s production of secretions

• the fullness, tone and secretions of the vulva, cervix and urethra

• bone structure and growth

• temperament and sexual interest

• the appearance and perhaps function of many other body tissues such as the skin, hair, heart, blood vessels, breasts, liver and joints.

After menopause, most women continue to make measurable and useful amounts of oestrogen in fat and muscle tissue and in the ovaries and adrenal glands (two small organs near the kidneys). How much body fat you have, and your genetic make-up, are among the most important influences on oestrogen levels after menopause.

If you have a slight build and your ovaries are removed before your menopause you are likely to experience more severe, acute menopausal symptoms (such as hot flushes, vaginal dryness, and bladder problems) than if you are well-built and you lose your ovaries after menopause. If you are in the former group, you may also find that your hair seems drier and your skin has less tone and you will also be at increased risk of heart disease and bone thinning (osteoporosis) in later life. For all these reasons you should consider oestrogen replacement therapy (a form of hormone therapy).

Women who are well-built and whose ovaries are removed before menopause tend to experience an intermediate level of symptoms and a slight to moderate increase in their long-term risk of heart disease and osteoporosis. Although such women may find oestrogen supplements useful, they may not be vitally important to their well-being.

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